skinball

okay.

first off, I have no idea why I'm writing this.

in the time between when I had my great IDEA and the browser loaded, I forgot. Yes. That is correct.

Now, I am very *smart* but I have the attention span of a rock.

It had something to do with cheese. Maybe chocolate.

I use a microplane to shred most things, including cheese. If you like to cook, and you don't have one, go buy one. Now. You are a caveman if you don't have one. Seriously, these things are unbelievable. I own one and I still shit my pants every single time I use it. Damn.

If you do not know what a microplane is, well then, shit. You don't cook. Or maybe you do, and you wish cooking was 'better'. If you don't wish it to be better, then stop reading right now and get the fuck out. Fuck you. Get out and stop reading.

But if you do wish cooking was 'better' then read on.

Okay. I am not a cook. I enjoy cooking. I know a few 'tricks' that help me seem like I know what I am doing in the kitchen. Well, it makes me look good, but more importantly, it makes the food taste better. One tool that helps this situation is the microplane. My stepdad demanded I get a microplane for 1 million years before I finally bought one....

And then I bought a microplane.

Shit.

This thing rocks. It rocks all day and parties every night. Even when I'm not there, it's partying. It is rocking the Casbah and the shareef is shitting his pants this thing is so cool. Seriously. Damn.

I know that sounds sensationalist, but damn dude, go buy a microplane if you spend more that FIFTEEN minutes in the kitchen. If you DON'T, then WHAT THE FUCK are you doing all the way down here in this blog ???

shit. come on. have some self respect. get out if you don't like cooking.

now.

get out.

bitch.

okay. so the creepers are gone. and the hard core cooking weirdo's are still here, and I have to tell you....

microplanes kick so much ass.... there may very well be not enough ass for them to kick.

BUT !!!!

be careful.

seriously.

microplanes are sharp. and precise.

and if you snag your finger you will end up with a tiny, unidentifiable skinball in your food.

skin is delicious like any other food such as chicken, chicken skin, turkey, turkey skin, pork, pork and sausage and pork and bacon and what not...

but if you don't want to eat human, then be careful.

it's really easy to get some skin in there.

with great kitchen tools comes great responsibility.

and so.....

You don't need a *microplane* to serve human skin to your friends.... but it helps.