This is funny... or at least, telling.

So I'm shuffling around the house today, Saturday, just hanging out, reading some comics, having coffee and cleaning a little bit. And, since I'm going through divorce, I find myself thinking a lot about my ex wife. So the mind wanders, from thought to thought, as it will. I think my brain is more active than many, certainly more active than I want or need at times, like a neon light shining through your bedroom window as you try to sleep, with no way to shut it off.... and the thought goes through about dating. How do I date somebody? It's been years since I dated anyone. Do I go to bars? I'm 33 and want a family, so I'm not sure that's the best place. Although my ex wife and I were neighbors, I actually did pick her up in a bar, so... hmmmm... maybe I'll try something different. I'm certainly active, I get out a lot. I have hobbies. I'm certainly 'out there' as they say (nevermind the fact I'm not ready for anything serious yet, just rambling on here about the time when it will happen). Here we get right to it: online dating. Well, I'm old enough to think it's weird, and young enough to see it's appeal. So maybe a couple more months, and I'll try that out. Never done it before, not really excited, but who knows? What appeals to me is how pro-active it is. It's not like hunting meat at a bar, it's more like a job posting. Seriously, as in, here's my requirements, let's see your qualifications. It seems to get right to the nitty gritty. Ignore for a minute, that, anything with humans involved is going to have a bunch of weirdness included, agendas, untruth and the like. But at it's core, it's promise is basically, let's just get down to it. Cut through the fat, hopefully.

But the point of this rambling crap is the final thought I had, before coming over here to type this up. "I'm tired of being alone." I mean. Shit. I was married for about 4 years. I was with this girl for 6 years. And I'm tired of being alone. That's pretty telling.

Just so you know, I'm chuckling to myself.... hehehe

ps - kent, I think that's a steam vent, not really a lave flow or anything ;) :D

Blogging is complicated, to me anyway....

I don't know how to start a blog. I don't know what to say and what not to say. I'm so confused on where to draw the line.... do I say shit that's nice and polished up or do I just peel off my skin and let you all see the pulsing grey guts? Is there something in between, a nice walled in area that's safe? I guess let's find out, eh? The answer that comes to my mind as I type this drivel in... can you hold back a volcano? Can you put a cap on that sucker and keep it from melting the skin off anyone in a 5 mile radius?

My dilemma, I just realized, is who I am. I don't want to be some of the things I am and have been shaped into through various experiences in life. But as the good book sayeth, the truth shall set you free. I also like 'to thyne own self be true.' Whichever works for you is cool with me.

I want to put in a disclaimer and be real nice, apologize, as it were, ahead of time for any grotesqueries you may encounter. My preference would be none, but I just can't fucking take it anymore. So fuck you if you don't like it. I didn't like it either.