Unheavy

So there were these two dinosaurs right? The T-Rex kind. One was green of course, and the other was pink. That may seem strange to you but in the world in which these dinosaurs live it is perfectly normal, so the sooner you accept it the sooner... you will... have accepted it. That's good. So these two dinosaurs, which had names that I can't remember from the first time I told this story about one hundred years ago, are named Herman and uh... let's say Frank. So Herman and Frank walk into a bar. No this is not a joke, they really did walk into a bar. It was after work for each dinosaur and they occasionally meet for a few drink. Now its important to know that they do not work together. Unless it's not. I don't really know yet because I'm not finished with this story.

Now Herman and Frank showed up at the bar at the same time. Frank held the door for Herman. Frank is the pink one. They both hanged their hats and coats on the coat rack. This bar was sort of an old timey bar, the kind that had a coat rack. The kind of coat rack the was free standing, not pegs on a wall.

Although these dinosaurs wore hats and coats, they did not wear any other clothes. They're dinosaurs.

They both step over to the bar and sit down on bar stools. Herman ordered a gin martini with an olive, not a lemon wedge. I don't like them with olives because gin martini's are harsh enough. But this isn't my story. Frank had a Stoli on the rocks.

They were talking to each other as the walked in and sat at the bar, but when I imagined this story in my head, I couldn't really hear what they were saying. But now Frank said, "Well, I filed two reports about the expenses but I guess she lost them. I mean, they're two pieces of paper. I can't tell you how much she really bugs me."

"Well, Frank, She may not be suited for carrying papers around an office. That takes a special skill. Stegosaurus' don't have hands like we do. You really should cut her some slack though, " Herman replied.

"The problem is," Frank continued, "I stuck those papers right onto the horns on her back. All she had to do was walk over to accounting and they could have just pulled them off, stamped them and she would be done with it altogether. She was missing for two hours!"

"Well I wasn't there. I can say that I don't think she would lose them intentionally. You know, I don't know her that well, but I don't think she would do anything like that..."

"Where the hell was she for two hours?" Frank interrupted.

Herman just sort of looked sheepish at Frank. As sheepish as a dinosaur can.

Frank desisted. "All right. Forget it. How was your day?"

Herman looked down to his drink. "Eh, it was okay. Really long. I didn't have anything to do all day. I just sat there at my computer." Herman brightened up briefly, "I did take a long walk out in the sun. That was nice. You know, they say that sun is good for your skin."

"Who's they?" Frank said, dower.

"You know, doctors. I saw it on the news."

"Hmph. I don't trust the news." Frank scowled

Herman's brightness left his face. He took a drink of his Martini. "Yeah? Well I don't either. I was just saying..." he trailed off. "I'm thinking of going to the beach tomorrow on lunch. And just staring at the ocean."

Herman looked into the distance dreamily, not really seeing the bar in front of him, but looking as if at a distant horizon. "You know," he started after staring for about a minute, "sometimes I wish I was a plesiosaur. I could just drift along the currents of the ocean, not a care in the world." He paused for a moment and then the dreamy look left his eyes and he looked down to his drink. "That would be nice..."

"They don't have computers underwater you know." Frank said matter of fact.

Herman just sat there looking into his drink.

After several minutes he replied, "yeah."

Frank watched Herman for a moment, then went back to his own drink. "I think I'm going to report her to her boss," He said after several minutes.

Herman said, "I've said my piece, do whatever you want."

Frank sighed and took another drink.